Resources

Grieving the death of a special person results in complex feelings and knowing what to do or say is often one of the biggest challenges we face. We hope you find these ideas helpful:  

Don’t be afraid to say the loved one’s name. Saying something specific about the person who died is often better than saying ‘I’m sorry for your loss.’ 

Don’t ask “How are you doing?” This question doesn’t acknowledge that they have suffered a loss. Instead try “How are you feeling today?” 

Reach out to express your sympathy. Call to say “I’m thinking of you” or ask if you can bring over dinner. Remember that your friend will need you beyond the weeks following the death. Holidays, birthdays, and the death anniversary can be particularly hard for them.   

Listen instead of offering advice. Actively listening to someone is often the best gift we can give. People work through their feelings by sharing their story. Reserve judgement about their choices. Your understanding is what’s needed the most.  

Bring over meals. This is an easy and very supportive thing to do for a friend. Organize a “meal train” with other friends and do grocery shopping so there are snacks in the house.